Today’s blog is written by Owen Llewellyn-Smyth (former intern at the Guardian Newspaper)
I’ve always wanted to be of service to my country. For me Jeremy Corbyn is the most dangerous man in Britain. There is a dark side to Corbyn. Because of this I set about the task of infiltrating the Shadow Cabinet office. Posing as a distant relative of Vladimir Lenin and a graduate in Marxist political theory from Kingston university, I was able to work as an intern in Corbyn’s office. Within a few months I succeeded in penetrating the inner circle of the ‘Corbynistas’. I was accepted and trusted as a loyal comrade. I even went with Corbyn to his allotment and helped him plant Broccoli. Once I had a conversation with John McDonnell about how a future Labour government would completely shut down Heathrow airport. During my internship I gained access to thousands of files and documents outlining plans for a Corbyn Britain. I was allowed to freely take photographs. I now have all of this information in my possession. It is my intention over the next few weeks to reveal what Corbyn really plans for Britain. This is a story of violence, bullying, intimidation and thuggery; some readers might find it upsetting but it is a story, for the sake of the nation, that has to be told.
Seumas Milne is Corbyn’s closest aide. He regularly issues ideas and instructions to the Corbinistas. In a secret memo issued three months ago he outlined Corbyn’s plan for the eventual abolition of the Church of England: “comrades we all know that religion is the opium of the people; however, religion will be useful to us in the transitional stage following the election of a JC government. The Church of England will be rebranded to assist us in educating the masses …” Corbyn plans the biggest overhaul of the Church since the destruction of monasteries under Henry VIII. The book of common prayer will be overhauled to include quotes from Lenin such as “To accept anything on trust, to preclude critical application and development, is a grievous sin.” Evensong will become ‘Corbynsong’.
Corbyn shares an allotment with the
The shadow cabinet office is dominated by interns from North Korea. They have a blind allegiance to Corbyn. Criticism of the leader is never tolerated; once I witnessed a female Labour MP visiting the Shadow cabinet office, she simply asked “Where is Jeremy? I’ve not seen him for nine months.” The torrent of abuse that followed was dreadful.
Corbyn plans to abolish the monarchy. In a memo issued on the Queens 90th birthday Seumas Milne wrote: “Comrades today is Elizabeth Windsor’s 90th Birthday. Today the capitalist press celebrates the life of this worthless parasite. Remember, in the very near future Jeremy will be the head of state and we will live in a glorious workers republic!” Within a week of gaining power Home Secretary Dennis Skinner will move an enabling motion in parliament authorising the abolition of the monarchy. The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh will be forced to live in a council house in Bolsover, Will’s and Kate will be employed on zero hours contracts at Sports Direct and Harry will be sent back to Afghanistan to teach ‘Haka’.
The only Royals to survive the coup will be Fergie and Prince Andrew. John McDonell plans to make Fergie head of quantative easing at the Bank of England because of her experience in accruing loads of cash in a suitcase. Corbyn wants Andrew to be the Trade Ambassador to North Vietnam.
Corbyn plans to control the press. Freedom of expression will be banned under Corbyn. In a memo Seumas Milne wrote “The row over phone-hacking by journalists has led to the closure of the News of the World newspaper, the establishment of the Leveson Inquiry, an MPs’ inquiry and the launch of three police investigations. We must learn from these events and note that history is moving in our direction. Once JC is elected we will take control of the press and establish a ministry of truth.”
Corbyn plans to nationalise and control control all food production. All farms will be collectivised into ‘Peoples allotments’.
In a secret memo Seamus Milne wrote “In the 21st century our tastes buds, our brain chemistry, our biochemistry, our hormones and our kitchens have been hijacked by the capitalist food industry. Comrades we need to follow the example of our great leader who loves his allotment. The food industry profits from providing poor quality foods with poor nutritional value that people eat a lot of. For the first 50 years of our lives the food industry is trying to make us fat. Then, the second 50 years, the pharmaceutical industry is treating us for everything. Our leader is thin, only eats food from his allotment and he doesn’t take drugs.”
I hope to reveal further facts about a future Britain under Corbyn. I am in hiding now. If you don’t hear from me in the next few weeks it will be because I have been murdered by the Corbynistas or Len McCluskey.
Phil Maxwell is away
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For more photographs of Bethnal Green Road use the search engine on my blog.
St John on Bethnal Green is an early 19th-century church in Tower Hamlets.
It was constructed 1826–8 to the design of the architect Sir John Soane (1753–1837). It is an Anglican church in the Diocese of London. Situated next to Bethnal Green tube station it is an imposing structure as you approach it from Bethnal Green Road.
Today’s blog is written by political satirist Owen Smith Junior – currently on a zero-hours contract.
One of my political heroes is Margaret Hodge MP. She is never afraid to stand up to bullying and always speaks her mind. Margaret, who helped launch the leadership challenge against Corbyn by bringing forward a vote of no confidence, said the team at the top of Labour had to step in to stop MPs being “intimidated, bullied, harassed”. “If this is the new kind of politics it is a dirty politics that I want no part of,” Margaret told the Today programme. “Bricks being thrown through windows, people being called ‘scum’, people being insulted, people being bullied, people being intimidated”.
Bearing in mind her vision and insight I decided to take my camera along to a Momentum rally in Liverpool last Thursday. Before I went I made sure I topped up my health insurance.
The Momentum meeting was held at the Liner hotel which offers “one of the largest event spaces in the City Centre”. Momentum estimated there were at least 50,000 people at the rally (typical of the lies peddled by the extreme left) but, as the ‘Brittanic Suite’ seats only 600 people, there could only have been around 750 people as there was also a lot of people standing up.
The meeting was kicked off by the so called ‘Liverpool Socialist Singers’. Listening to them I thought to myself how wonderful the music of Cliff Richard was compared to their boring songs about peace, Trade Unions and workers rights.
Councillor Alice Bennet banged on about how shocking it was that people now had to pay £25 to register to vote in the leadership election. She said this was “designed to disenfranchise the poor and low paid”. It is precisely because thousands of poor and low paid people paid £3 and voted for Jeremy Corbyn, that the Labour Party is now in such a mess!
Dr Alex Scott Samuel droned on about how privatisation was destroying the NHS. He criticised the record of Owen Smith and talked about Owen’s career history working for major international pharmaceutical companies. Personally I will be voting for Owen. His lucrative highly paid jobs working for multinational drug companies equip him for the role of Prime minister. Yes he’s had a couple of low points in his career but you can’t blame him for the $762 million fine Amgen got for illegally promoting the drug ‘Aranesp’ to cancer patients in a way that increased the likelihood of their deaths. Yes prosecutors said that the company was “pursuing profits at the risk of patient safety” as it promoted a non-approved use of Aranesp. Still you can’t blame Owen because he was only in charge of corporate affairs, corporate and internal communications and public affairs at the British division of Amgen while the biotech company was being investigated in 2008. Owen has gone on record with great ideas about improving the NHS. He has no problem with the involvement of private companies in delivering NHS services and welcomes them, “Where they can bring good ideas, where they can bring valuable services that the NHS is not able to deliver”.
Owen has gone on record reflecting many of the ideas of my hero Tony Blair; On PFI (Private Finance Initiative) schemes, Owen said “We’ve had PFI in Wales, we’ve had a hospital built down in Baglan through PFI. If PFI works, then let’s do it.” Again Owen has shown vision when talking about education: “City academies in certain parts of inner city Britain, where schools were failing, where children were not being well served, have made great inroads”.
Another of my political heroes is Hilary Benn. Thankfully he hasn’t inherited the dreadful political genes of his father. Now that he writes for THE SUN he has really gone up in my estimation. Hopefully, like Tony Blair, he will now become a close personal friend of Rupert Murdoch (another one of my heroes). Writing in the Sun recently in support of Angela Eagle he said “just look at what she’s had to deal with in the last few days. A tide of abuse, much of it homophobic and misoginistic. A brick through her office window the day after she announced her candidacy. Death threats”. Ok it’s since emerged that no brick was thrown through her window and the leading LGBT publication ‘Pink News’ investigated the homophobic claims and found they were unfounded. However I agree with Hilary Benn (again writing in THE SUN) when he said that Angela ‘has that elusive and essential personal quality; courage”. Yes Hillary because it took courage to vote for the war in Iraq and courage to vote to bomb Syria.
Phil Maxwell is away (with the fairies)
I love Sclater street market. It’s a photographers paradise.
I keep asking myself how long will it be before big money destroys the place? Two high rise blocks are being planned for Sclater Street. The proposed development will tower over the local conservation areas and the local community. A 70 metre long wall of 12 to 20 storey towers coming right up to the edge of the pavement will permanently cast deep shadows over the narrow Bethnal Green Road and beyond. Hundreds of local residents and businesses, and English Heritage strongly objected to the proposal.
I have been going to Sclater Street market just off Brick Lane for nearly 40 years. Like everything else of value in the East End of London it is under threat from gentrification and money grabbing developers who care nothing for local people, culture or heritage.